Why are guys so mean when breaking up? (2023)

Why do guys get so mean after a breakup?

In reality, men experience more emotional pain after a breakup. They also need more time to move on from heartbreak. Since many guys are not comfortable displaying their emotions, they become avoidant. Loss of a relationship is often a common cause of why men go cold suddenly.

Sometimes, an ex will express anger towards you simply because they're using you and the breakup as a scapegoat. They might just not be in a good place in their life, and they might be feeling unhappy and dissatisfied with themselves, so they take it out on you.

One of the telltale signs he is hurt after the breakup is if he can't stop talking to you. Indeed, he knows you guys have broken up, but letting go is hard for him. He will text you, call to ask about your work and friends, or look for an excuse to hear your voice. These signs mean he cannot accept your separation.

Despite the age-old stereotype that men are less emotionally invested in relationships than women, a new study has found that men are in fact more likely to experience more emotional pain than women following a breakup.

While the stereotype is that a breakup hits men a lot later, emerging research conducted with 184,000 participants found that men seem to be more affected by the loss of a relationship.

Men often go through an emotional state called “Dumpers Remorse” after the woman finally goes away. This state hits after one month to six weeks after the man passes through the initial happy phase after a breakup. He starts to give away signs he knows he messed up the whole thing from that time.

Most anger you see dumpers exhibit immediately post breakup is a defense mechanism. Add in the fact that we teach our clients to let the breakup “make them” as opposed to “break them.” There's a nuanced layer where the dumper actually grows more angry because the dumpee isn't reacting the way they should.

Anxiety and loneliness become part of your ex's life

It all depends on the breakup and how your ex proceeds with it. Anxiety and loneliness hit the dumper when they realize that they have lost you. This is where the impact of grief, feeling alone, and unwanted hits the dumper.

Stage 5: Anger

While you may feel angry at any point after a breakup, it often is realized with clarity once you have moved through the stages of questioning, denial, and bargaining. Anger can look very different depending on the specific conditions of the relationship.

Men don't tend to feel regret straight away. In fact, it can take them up to six months before they start to regret losing a good woman. One of the things that will make him regret it sooner is seeing you with someone better than him.

What does silence do to a man after a breakup?

Silence Is Key After a Breakup

Remember, silence is a key after you've just broken up. It helps re-establish your bond while allowing both you and your partner to think. So, instead of texting and making phone calls, be absolutely silent. Do not reach out to him, and if he tries to do so, simply ignore him.

Men undergo certain emotions during a breakup, much like women do. They face feelings of extreme hurt, anger, confusion, failure, sadness, and emotional numbness in no particular order. Unlike women, they are usually unable to cope with this flurry of emotions.

Seek new relationships

After a breakup, guys tend to seek as many short-term romantic interactions as they can. Getting into rebound relationships is their way of coping with the loss. Many people would say that this is due to guys' pride after a breakup.

76.5% of Male Dumpers Return within 60 Days of BreakUp - Study - EIN Presswire.

There is no easy way to deal with a breakup, but remaining silent actually speaks volumes to your ex. After all, actions speak louder than words! By staying silent, you're telling your ex that you're strong, resilient, and independent. You're relying on yourself — and no one else — for your own happiness.

So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.

“There are likely several reasons for this,” she says. “Men are not reinforced or socialized for emotional communication the same way as women, relationships may often have a different functionality for men, and men at a certain younger age may not feel the same pressure about family planning and marriage.”

When your ex-boyfriend still contacts you after you both agreed to no form of contact, he might even have feelings for you. Another way to know if he still loves you is when he tries to make you jealous with other girls, and when he makes emotional confessions to you during his drunken moments.

He shoots down any communication you try to spark.

If he regularly makes no effort to try to tell you anything about his day, or if you literally have to wheedle information out of him, he's done. He doesn't view you as his friend and confidant anymore. He's stonewalling you because he wants you to leave him alone.

Will no contact make him move on?

So rather than help your ex move on, no contact slows or potentially reverses that. Chasing and contacting your ex is what actually will cause them to move on – and they will be running. It won't be easy to stay in no contact.

Silence after being dumped keeps the dumper totally confused. Being dumped by silent treatment will make your ex lose any sense of power they thought they had. Even if your ex was the one who decided to part ways, your sudden absence is going to make them re-evaluate things as they stand.

It may seem cold if they seem like they don't care at you at all but our research has found that isn't entirely true. Dumpers do hurt just like dumpees but they have a different way of processing the grief than you do because they view relationships in a different way fundamentally.

Typically, evidence suggests the dumpee normally faces more pain and they certainly do suffer the most intensity of emotions. That being said the dumper rarely escapes pain free.

Stage 1 – Relief: Even if someone has emotionally checked out of a relationship, dumping a partner is always hard. That's why when the no-contact rule is brought into effect, the dumper experiences a sense of relief. It gives them the perfect escape from dealing with difficult emotions and questions.